This one has sexual content, but I'm sure you're all old enough. I would like to know if it works. Also, it is from a female POV, so that may also be an issue.
I wrote this in reponse to a story about a couple's wedding day which was called "I do." Now I wonder if it stands as a story in it's own right. What do you think?
I Did
Nicole lay on her side and watched Scott sleep, as she had done so many times before. But tonight was different. Tonight they were married. How long she had dreamt of this moment, to lie next to her new husband and observe his slumber. His eyes danced behind shuttered lids, and a half smile played on his soft lips. She wondered if he was dreaming of her, perhaps recalling their earlier lovemaking, which had been with all the fury of first time passion. She touched his face gently, traced a line down his cheek and across his lips. She paused for a moment, savouring the feeling, as his warm breath washed over her fingertips. Then she continued down, over the curve of his chin, along his neck and onto his chest. She grasped the white satin sheet that covered them and drew it away, exposing his body, and hers. There was a slight chill in the air, and she trembled as it caressed her skin. Her eyes drank in the vision of his toned, tanned nakedness and she felt desire rise in her again. God, she loved him so much. She felt tears well up in her eyes. Her hand returned to his chest and her fingers drew invisible circles around his nipples, before brushing across them with the lightest of touches. She lent over and kissed one, then took it in her mouth and licked it, she felt it stiffen. Scott moaned quietly. Leaving a faint saliva trial, she moved down his body to his navel, which she probed gently with her tongue. Scott said her name. She glanced up, but he was still asleep. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his rhythmic breathing. She wished she could stay there forever, close to his heart. A tear rolled down her nose and fell onto his skin. Her eyes drifted down to his penis, which had responded to her attentions and stood erect before her. She sat up, took it in her left hand, and stroked it. Scot sighed and she felt him stir. With her right hand, she reached back and picked up a knife that lay beside her on the bed, (the very same knife which, earlier that day, had sliced through their wedding cake,) and she cut off his penis. Even as the blood showered over her, and Scott sat up screaming, she thought of the text message which she had received from Christi at the reception, and of Scott's reluctant admission. "Did you?" She’d asked, with confetti still in her hair. "I did." And then, still in his wedding suit, Scott had begged her to forgive him, and she had. But she hadn't, not really. How could she? Sitting there now, enveloped in gore and anguished screams, she looked down at the grisly mass in her hand and a thought came into her mind. ‘If Christi liked this so much, maybe I should post it to her.’
2 comments:
I wrote this in reponse to a story about a couple's wedding day which was called "I do."
Now I wonder if it stands as a story in it's own right.
What do you think?
I Did
Nicole lay on her side and watched Scott sleep, as she had done so many times before. But tonight was different. Tonight they were married. How long she had dreamt of this moment, to lie next to her new husband and observe his slumber.
His eyes danced behind shuttered lids, and a half smile played on his soft lips. She wondered if he was dreaming of her, perhaps recalling their earlier lovemaking, which had been with all the fury of first time passion.
She touched his face gently, traced a line down his cheek and across his lips. She paused for a moment, savouring the feeling, as his warm breath washed over her fingertips. Then she continued down, over the curve of his chin, along his neck and onto his chest. She grasped the white satin sheet that covered them and drew it away, exposing his body, and hers. There was a slight chill in the air, and she trembled as it caressed her skin. Her eyes drank in the vision of his toned, tanned nakedness and she felt desire rise in her again. God, she loved him so much. She felt tears well up in her eyes.
Her hand returned to his chest and her fingers drew invisible circles around his nipples, before brushing across them with the lightest of touches. She lent over and kissed one, then took it in her mouth and licked it, she felt it stiffen. Scott moaned quietly.
Leaving a faint saliva trial, she moved down his body to his navel, which she probed gently with her tongue. Scott said her name. She glanced up, but he was still asleep. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his rhythmic breathing. She wished she could stay there forever, close to his heart. A tear rolled down her nose and fell onto his skin.
Her eyes drifted down to his penis, which had responded to her attentions and stood erect before her. She sat up, took it in her left hand, and stroked it. Scot sighed and she felt him stir.
With her right hand, she reached back and picked up a knife that lay beside her on the bed, (the very same knife which, earlier that day, had sliced through their wedding cake,) and she cut off his penis.
Even as the blood showered over her, and Scott sat up screaming, she thought of the text message which she had received from Christi at the reception, and of Scott's reluctant admission.
"Did you?" She’d asked, with confetti still in her hair.
"I did."
And then, still in his wedding suit, Scott had begged her to forgive him, and she had.
But she hadn't, not really. How could she?
Sitting there now, enveloped in gore and anguished screams, she looked down at the grisly mass in her hand and a thought came into her mind.
‘If Christi liked this so much, maybe I should post it to her.’
Bloody hell, I didn't see that end coming!
Great story Chris!
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